Sunday, August 10, 2008

Things That Go Bump in the Day, and Spray Water Everywhere

We don't really know what happened. Maybe we never will. I'll tell you the story all the same, whether it develops an ending or not. I hope it will. What would a whodunnit be if the whizz mastermind detective didn't reveal all at the end of the movie in a nicely summarised 20 minute monologue?

I'm no whizz mastermind detective, but I can spin a story. So, unless you have been living under a proverbial rock, you would know that I have been having toilet problems.

Carly asked me if the toilets flush here, and in general, yes they do. Thankfully however for the last 5 days only one of my taps has been working (one in the shower) and that means that the toilet has not been refilling. This is in fact a good thing, because for a while there, it was impossible to sit there without being ankle deep in toilet water. Somewhere my toilet developed a leak, and then in the course of me trying to determine the source of the leak another one appeared. Before I knew it anytime the thing had water in it it was like being back at wet 'n' wild.

I told Sunil, my landlord, about the problem. He said that Denis (I think that's his name, although it doesn't sound very Nepali) would come, check it out and fix it but that Sunil would be away in India for a while. Denis came, acknowledged that the toilet (charpi) was broken and we had a conversation. The gist of which was "toilet is broken", "yes","I will fix", "excellent", I think. Of course, he might have actually said "well, that's borked, good luck with it mate!". It's another thing I think we'll never know, because I was speaking English and him Nepali.

Anyway its been a week and a half since said conversation and Denis may as well have left town, because I haven't seen him, and my toilet is most definitely not fixed. Here's where the mystery sets in. For the last 5 days as I said, things have been relatively dry on account of no water. I came home today to see my bathroom resembling something like Kevin Kostner's Waterworld. The toilet (let's call it 'tank') had come right off the wall. The hose that connected it to the bowl was sticking up in the air and the bathroom was is a general state of mayhem.

Now I can't tell if Denis paid a visit and tried to fix it or if the toilet itself tried to commit suicide by wrenching itself off the wall. The toilet brush had definitely moved, as well as the toilet paper, but I don't know if that was human related or brought about by suicidal toilet antics.

Any solutions to this crime are welcome, and may be addressed to Or alternatively, leave a comment detailing your suspicions.


  1. Stop looking, because i have your answer Rob - its mountains spirits. Or, in your case, toilet poltergeists.

    YOu know the mountain spirits got to me in Peru, now they're after you - by way of your lavatory. I suggest you forget Denis and find yourself a Nepali witch doctor to come round and fix it.

  2. Take 2 - my dad wanted to know why i was looking at pictures of toilets on the internet so i told him your story.

    He thinks the culprit could possibly Mr Hanky, the Christmas Poo.

  3. I think it unworthy of you to attack an innocent toilet, causing it grievious harm, and then to try to blame Denis, the Christmas Poo, or poltergeists.

  4. are you suggesting that I caused this myself to create a story???
    unbelievable!!! [but also now that I think about very clever]...hurm

  5. I'm sorry, I know that's probably awful, but I can't stop laughing. My solution is simple, talk to Denis with Charades! Will be fun.

  6. turns out Denis had been struggling with the key (saa:cho). He was convinced that it didn't work, even when I took it off him and showed him how to use it on the lock.

    Sunil came by and 'fixed' the whole thing. Bought a new hose to replace the one that wasn't broken and duct taped the split part shut. Luckily (and again) I am without water, so I don't know if it holds...yet.