Monday, April 25, 2011

Nothing Happens in Airports

As I sit at Brisbane International Airport I am reminded ever again that I hate waiting in airports. I love the takeoff, in-flight entertainment and even the food. But I hate waiting in airports. You can't sleep, everyone else is on edge and you have to queue for everything - except when you are sitting waiting for something exciting to happen.

Other people seem to get incredibly excited about duty free shopping. I can barely see the appeal. Two litres of alcohol hardly seems worth getting excited about, especially when it feels like one is only saving about 5 bucks. Having said that I did pick up a nice schmancy Jameson which I intend to enjoy post-Hello Sunday Morning on my return (it'll be waiting for me at the airport - as a replacement for that cute puppy that I'll never own while living in inner-city Melbourne).

Besides the heart attack that I received when the checkin lady told me my flight comes back in at 5.30pm in 2 weeks (when my Melbourne flight leaves at 6.30pm) the day has been remarkably unproblematic. And it turned out that she was lying.

The shops before Customs had no appeal and security was a breeze. Being a 20-something male travelling alone with a copy of "The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse" falling out of my bag as I cleared security, I was naturally selected for a standard bomb-check. In Brisbane this apparently also requires the additional step of a pat-down (behind a screen with a female observer) - much more involved that the recent bomb screen check I got at Sydney airport as a 20-something in coat and tie. I put this down to hiking boots, a hill-billy hat (that for 5 years I have wanted to take abroad with me), mismatching t-shirt and shorts, 3 days of Easter weekend styled beard growth and a general laissez-faire demeanour. That or heightened security in an airport where literally NOTHING is happening.

Tried an uber-strong large soy caramel latte just to distract me from the fact that there's no iPads, tablets, phones, external hard drives, bluetooth headphones or PSP games (or anything else that I might be tempted to buy) in the duty free shops. The most exciting thing I could find in the shop (and that only got me excited for the 5 seconds it took to pick them up; which on review might have just been the uber-super-strong-soy-latte-that-didn't-have-caramel-but-was-probably-just-as-well) was the bucket-ton of TimTams that I believe should be an obligatory present when visiting any Australian abroad (Loz - you're in luck!). Luckily I have trained my mother well on this topic and she now knows no Black and Gold chocolate biscuit can replace a real TimTam.

In fact, things were so bad that I knocked out a Change Control form that I needed to do for work but hadn't found time before I left. Took 5 seconds and burns in that way that you know you should have done it 2 weeks ago kind of way. Sent it and know I will be rebuked for working while on holiday. Too bad so sad. From the moment I post this blog, the mobile and laptop will be switched off and no work emails will be reviewed.

Beaches, sun and WWII paraphenalia. Yes please.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Dash Goes Solo...

Target locked and acquired.  The next adventure is a trip out to see Lauren in her newfound home - the Solomon Islands.  

I really can't wait. It's been an insane 4 months since Christmas.  Work being its own man-made disaster, but with the Queensland and Vic floods, the earthquakes and mudslides and cyclones, it's all just been a little bit too serious.

Time to chill out to some Pacific time. Some beaches, some volcanoes, some snorkelling and some all around goodness.  Let's just keep the malaria at bay.

Linguistic adventures, cultural faux-pas'!  HERE I COME!!!